Flew down to Texas over my spring break for SXSW and to do some general traveling. Having come from Chicago, the warm weather is an intensely welcome change. Nice weather, though, means less clothes. I've never been hugely self-concious about my body, but wearing fewer clothes, no matter what size you are, tends to make you think more about what you look like.As women, we are conditioned to regard our bodies in an aesthetic sense. This is evident in the content of, um, every ladies magazine, every advertisement targeted at women, and every stupid diet that promises to help you, "get bikini ready by summer." Common understanding holds that our bodies are supposed to be nice to look at, if not for men, then at least for ourselves, because, you know, bEinG h0T iS EmPoWeRinG and stuff.
I'm not going to say that looking good isn't empowering, because sometimes it can be! I find it sort of unstable and problematic, though, that physical appearance is the status quo form of bodily empowerment marketed to women. How can it be that you should only feel empowered by your body if you are a) naturally really pretty or b) willing to put in a lot of work to look like you are?
Whenever I find myself feeling unpretty, I make an effort to recontextualize my body mentally. When it comes down to it, your body is really a tool. It carries your brain. It lets you get from point a to point b. It's a home for the senses that let your perceive the world in all of its awesomeness. Thinking of my body in a practical sense, as opposed to an aesthetic one, makes me feel super empowered. My body can do lots of cool things. Its worth is not dictated by how well it meets some set of arbitrary standards that someone else set for me, but but how well it serves the functions I need it to in my daily life.
Not sure if this technique is the "best" technique for appreciating your body, and I'm definitely not asserting it applies to everyone, but it works for me so I figured I'd share it.
(Semi-random old roller derby pic as an example of how women's bodies can be awesome and functional!)
Preach it. Reminds me of some Regina Spektor lyrics, from Folding Chair:
ReplyDelete"I've got a perfect body
but sometimes I forget
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'cuz my eyelashes catch my sweat"
right on. Though this isn't the only approach to counteracting the mainstream American ideology about what women should look like and how they should view themselves and act upon societal expectations, I think it is certainly one viable method. You're very right--our bodies are sweeeeet.
ReplyDeleteI've always been naturally thin, but didn't appreciate my body. I didn't start appreciating my body until I started teaching exercise class.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm so proud of myself and my body for being able to teach 5 hours of classes every week. I'm the strongest girl I know. My muscles are amazing and enduring, I can hold yoga poses for minutes, I can do more crunches than I can count.
It's better for me to think of my body as a vehicle for my soul/person, and I'm trying to optimize my body through responsible practice so I can stay healthy. So my soul can use it to the best of my ability. I would be more heart broken to have crippled knees that can't dance when I'm 50 than if I weren't the skinniest girl now.
It's odd that there is this idea that we're somehow responsible for our level of basic attractiveness. I think it's an example of the fairness fallacy (by which I don't mean all the teabagger nonsense on the internet, suggesting that the persuit of justice in society is a sin against social darwinism, but the idea that people at the bottom of any "heap" must somehow deserve it because the alternative (it being basically random) is unpalatable and in fact extrememly distressing).
ReplyDeleteWe don't look at intelligence in the is way, although there are a lot of similarities; by the time we're here and posting on the internet, we've already collected in the genetics/childhood development sweepstakes and are considering how to optimise what we have with education or exercise or something. We have to try and play the cards we've been dealt, but we're constantly told we need to do better, even though it would be a contradiction in terms for everyone to be at the top of the heap.
Also, I agree with meliasaurus :-)
Great post Jamie! Your point is an important one -- two things I've noticed a lot within popular culture is the understanding that a girl/woman can only value her body as tool if it meets aesthetic requirements first. (As in, you can be a _______, as long as you're hot doing it. I've actually had men tell this to me!) Then there's the assumption that one's body should be the primary source of self esteem for girls/women, and if you're not willing to display your body in particular ways, then you're assumed to not be confident with yourself. Another very problematic assumption.
ReplyDeleteThe links between the body and empowerment (and the ways they're articulated within pop culture) are really fascinating to me, so thanks for raising the issue.
Excellent post! I didn't recontextualize my body until I was pregnant and then it was kind of a 'holy-sh*t' look-what-my-body-can-do experience rather than 'I hate my thighs' habit. For my now 13 year old daughter, I 'fight' back by not allowing fashion mags in the house and talking-back to TV ads. Once my daughter came out of watching TV laughing and she explained that a commercial just promised her that only if she bought XYZ product, she too would be thin, gorgeous and popular. She often feels vulnerable about her looks (as most girls do) but at least can reject the constant 'downloading' of negative messages surrounding us.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you've find something that's great and empowering for you! I'm also really happy that you've acknowledged that this method of appreciating your body doesn't apply to everyone. I actually am pretty happy with the way my body looks, but, as someone with an invisible disability, I'm often upset that my body can't properly serve the functions I need it to in my daily life. It is also extremely unlikely I'll ever be able to have children naturally. I plan on adopting when I'm ready, but so often articles like this talk about how we should appreciate our bodies because they can run marathons and carry babies, etc., which does sometimes make me feel bad about myself and my bodies abilities (or lack thereof). So, I just wanted to thank you for acknowledging that this is something that works for you and that it isn't (and shouldn't be) something that works for all women!
ReplyDeleteUgh. "Bodies" should read "body's." Sorry, I hate grammatical and spelling errors. I should have proofread before posting!
ReplyDelete@Kim! Thanks! I think media has a long way to go, even in saying positive things, in not making over generalizations. I try to be super conscious of this sort of thing when i write. :)
ReplyDeleteI do this too! I do take a lot of pride in my body and love the effects that exercise and a healthy diet have on how it looks, but when I feel like I don't measure up, I sit down and contemplate things as simple as the digestive process... I'm amazed every time! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a fascinating approach to 'body empowerment'. I defintely hadn't or (hardly) considered this thought process before, but I will now: the joys of being a working, living human being! :) Though, like Kim I'm glad that you stated that this train of thought is particular to you and not applicable to all people, because I assume people with disabilities would find it a little difficult to identify with this.
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